Cool Fireworks funny pics and jokes
Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Fireworks are like a good cereal, they go "Snap, Crackle, Pop".
Chinese man to American man:
"You are not us clever as us. We discovered gunpowder and used it for fireworks. You used it in guns."
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened ?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! Wow, what did you do with them ?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
One year, Johnny’s family was having an “extended family”
4th of July cookout at their home. One of the special treats
that year was lighting the fireworks (Roman candles, bottle
rockets, etc.) they had bought out of
state (they’re illegal in their area, of course!).
Just before they were to arrive, a cousin called, saying his
neighbors’ plans had just fallen through and asking if he
bring them along to the picnic — they even had extra food
to bring. “Sure, the more the merrier!”
When the cousin arrived with his neighbors, it was
discovered that the head of that family was a police
officer. Johnny’s father turned as innocently as he could to
his son and whispered to him to grab the paper bag of
fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere
quickly. Johnny disappeared, and the father changed the
topic to food for the day. This family had brought some
chicken to grill, so the father told them the gas grill was
all set to use out back — they just had to turn on the gas
and push the ignition button with the lid still closed.
They headed out to the back as Johnny returned through the
front door. The father hurried to him and said, “Whew, that
was close! That man’s a police officer, and he almost saw
the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?”
“Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!”
Gravity- It’s not just a good idea, it’s the LAW!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Life is too complicated in the morning.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
Nobody’s perfect. I’m a Nobody.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.
His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."
Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.
After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"
"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..."
PUNS and JOKES
Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Q. How many fireworks techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to change the lightbulb, one to say fire in the hole.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
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