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Cool Fireworks funny pics and jokes
Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. Fireworks are like a good cereal, they go "Snap, Crackle, Pop".
Chinese man to American man:
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
One year, Johnny’s family was having an “extended family” 4th of July cookout at their home. One of the special treats that year was lighting the fireworks (Roman candles, bottle rockets, etc.) they had bought out of state (they’re illegal in their area, of course!). Just before they were to arrive, a cousin called, saying his neighbors’ plans had just fallen through and asking if he bring them along to the picnic — they even had extra food to bring. “Sure, the more the merrier!” When the cousin arrived with his neighbors, it was discovered that the head of that family was a police officer. Johnny’s father turned as innocently as he could to his son and whispered to him to grab the paper bag of fireworks sitting in the kitchen and hide them somewhere quickly. Johnny disappeared, and the father changed the topic to food for the day. This family had brought some chicken to grill, so the father told them the gas grill was all set to use out back — they just had to turn on the gas and push the ignition button with the lid still closed. They headed out to the back as Johnny returned through the front door. The father hurried to him and said, “Whew, that was close! That man’s a police officer, and he almost saw the fireworks. Did you hide them real well?” “Oh, yeah, nobody will ever think to look in the grill!” Hillary went into a pet shop and found a beautiful, colorful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" she asked. "Well, ma'am," the manager told her, "not everyone would want to own this parrot. He spent many years in a whorehouse, and his language is terrible." "Well, I want him," she said. "Suit yourself," the manager shrugged. When she got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the colorful bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "New house, new madam." Hillary laughed. Soon Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. "New house, new whores," the parrot observed. At first they were offended, but when Hilary explained about the bird's history, they too, laughed at him. A few minutes later, the president entered the living quarters . The parrot looked up from his feeder and said, "Hi, Bill." Clinton walks out into his garden one day and in the snow he says bastard written in piss. He is so outraged he goes into the oval office and calls the CIA and FBI to tell them to find out who did this horrible thing to his garden. So they go out and investigate and when they return they say "Well Bill, we've got bad news and we've got worse news, which one would you like to hear first?" And Bill says, "What's the bad news?" The agent replies, "It was Al Gore." Aghast Bill yells, "That dirty no good son of a bitch!!!!! What's the worse news?" So the agent says, "It was Hillary's handwriting..." A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?" Gravity- It’s not just a good idea, it’s the LAW! Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible? Life is too complicated in the morning. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography Nobody’s perfect. I’m a Nobody. My wife said “If you go hunting or fishing one more time I’m going to leave you” …I’m sure going to miss her. Ask me about my vow of silence. One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues , when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to repair it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed. "Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?" the lawyer asked. "HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX !" memory streams online can open the vault help yourself to hosting online via this site click here big troule problem list that many talk to him for listen about fox and boys goto this awesome high shed today Dogs like news daily info and cheap food the proof is watching them eat max are you who fire works know it yes beach todays free joke is the best jake goes to the drug store to buy some protection he know is will cost money but he must do it paul asks who you tom if he wants some juice the bear is looking for food but dont feed it. The best place on the web is called 99 free snoops aka jenny A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting. His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on." Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying. After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?" "Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..." host bookmark things to go too to me hands copter 5 simples 3 windy nice who like days off doctors in the uk often examine sick people sometimes for money and other times for food lighting is needed by nurses to view wounds and warts the best forum for this is the monster forum online the better way to make money is to earn it work sucks PUNS and JOKES Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Q. How many fireworks techs does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Two. One to change the lightbulb, one to say fire in the hole. Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks? A: DINOMITE!
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